Ranting out..
Well lately, i got a rush to blog and complaint all i want to in here. I totally have been bottling up a lot of things in my heart trying to find a best solution of all that will magically solve all problems..
But Nothing Seems to Work.
Anyone can give me a Answer please.
I felt myself useless lately. Is it because i do have the capability to do it or i do not spend enough time or rather spend time on other things that is irrelevant?
I will really like to thank Ms.Joan Chia my AVA teacher in secondary school days. Well she really hit some sense to me when she asked everyone how everyone looked at me, how they think about me.
They say "Raymond always like to complaint this and that everytime"
Perhaps i am like that. Because i have none not even my family to complaint to other than my friends who are always with me.
I think sometimes i'm annoying in someway.. Like always complaining a lot of school work that i seem to do everytime i see a new friend or rather a friend that i don't really see often. I usually just want someone to just give some attention perhaps.
Attention Seeker? I guess so..
I Kinda of a very complicated person to REALLY know me inside out. Not even my mom can do that. Inside stories are so much that i want cry out to people and ask for solutions to that.
Perhaps i always get spoon-fed. Ask for it and i get it. Ask it and someone will give me the accurate answer for me. I don't like that. It has become a habit that i will take a few years even to quit it. Damn!
I need a break really.
A BREAK.......
But I CANT HAVE IT.
I admire a lot people lately. I finally understand the feelings of those who try hard to get the standards of the good ones around you. Secondary school, i'm always at the safe zone, the point that i won't get shit happened to me, the point whereby the teachers will have no business with unless special thing happened to me like suddenly my grades drop by 5 grades.
Experience and time explains.
Design really need some good experience good groundings good basics before you even start to talk about thinking process or concepts. Perhaps you are able to think of concepts.. But hello, you have totally no idea how to draw it dude. Why?
I just got 'humililated' or 'look down upon' by some people that i think not to be named.
I not exactly HATE them or SWEAR vulgarities at them as i do believe in someway i'm not in any position to fight back or anything. I have nothing behind me to support me.
No one there to say "Raymond, it's okay, do whatever you want and do your best, i know you can do it."
I really shout "WHY PEOPLE CAN DO IT, I CAN'T???"
Admiring people work, regreting why i can't do it, why i didn't start earlier.. so on...
I'm really tired sometimes.. Putting 101% time and effort to think and afterwards it's a shit work to people. Why?
Majority of people are doing better than me. I really feel restless, useless towards it. Damn.
Fuck you man. If you say you anyhow do and you got an nice little A on your results, That's not anyhow do. So do not come infront of me saying that you do not put in your effort.
Determined.
I WILL BECOME BETTER THAN THEM.
But Nothing Seems to Work.
Anyone can give me a Answer please.
I felt myself useless lately. Is it because i do have the capability to do it or i do not spend enough time or rather spend time on other things that is irrelevant?
I will really like to thank Ms.Joan Chia my AVA teacher in secondary school days. Well she really hit some sense to me when she asked everyone how everyone looked at me, how they think about me.
They say "Raymond always like to complaint this and that everytime"
Perhaps i am like that. Because i have none not even my family to complaint to other than my friends who are always with me.
I think sometimes i'm annoying in someway.. Like always complaining a lot of school work that i seem to do everytime i see a new friend or rather a friend that i don't really see often. I usually just want someone to just give some attention perhaps.
Attention Seeker? I guess so..
I Kinda of a very complicated person to REALLY know me inside out. Not even my mom can do that. Inside stories are so much that i want cry out to people and ask for solutions to that.
Perhaps i always get spoon-fed. Ask for it and i get it. Ask it and someone will give me the accurate answer for me. I don't like that. It has become a habit that i will take a few years even to quit it. Damn!
I need a break really.
A BREAK.......
But I CANT HAVE IT.
I admire a lot people lately. I finally understand the feelings of those who try hard to get the standards of the good ones around you. Secondary school, i'm always at the safe zone, the point that i won't get shit happened to me, the point whereby the teachers will have no business with unless special thing happened to me like suddenly my grades drop by 5 grades.
Experience and time explains.
Design really need some good experience good groundings good basics before you even start to talk about thinking process or concepts. Perhaps you are able to think of concepts.. But hello, you have totally no idea how to draw it dude. Why?
I just got 'humililated' or 'look down upon' by some people that i think not to be named.
I not exactly HATE them or SWEAR vulgarities at them as i do believe in someway i'm not in any position to fight back or anything. I have nothing behind me to support me.
No one there to say "Raymond, it's okay, do whatever you want and do your best, i know you can do it."
I really shout "WHY PEOPLE CAN DO IT, I CAN'T???"
Admiring people work, regreting why i can't do it, why i didn't start earlier.. so on...
I'm really tired sometimes.. Putting 101% time and effort to think and afterwards it's a shit work to people. Why?
Majority of people are doing better than me. I really feel restless, useless towards it. Damn.
Fuck you man. If you say you anyhow do and you got an nice little A on your results, That's not anyhow do. So do not come infront of me saying that you do not put in your effort.
Determined.
I WILL BECOME BETTER THAN THEM.
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