Happy Chinese New Year People!

Ok time for the usual things. I wish you all a 'hu nian xing da yun' , ' wan shi ru yi' , 'shi shi xun xin', ' jia li tuan tuan yuan yuan' ... etc.

It's my weapon for CNY to get more ang baos. Well this year CNY isn't going really well. Both my Ah Mas (my mum's side and my father's side) unluckily got into accidents. Time all spent on taking care of them and running around.

Hope they get well soon to see my graduate from university... =( I wanted to let my ah ma to see my with my square hat and take picture with her. It's like a dream for her to excel to university.

Well set aside that, i bought quite a lot of chio things for CNY. Like my wallet. Gosh it is like so cool. XD and loads of clothes for school. Bought a new canvas for school. Spend a total of 300 bucks + to buy all i need not a want.

Well i tried to hunt for the cheapest and nicest and best quality i can find. I'm not that rich as you think of.

I don't really have a lot to blog about.. Suddenly a mind of blank now. Tomorrow will start a new week of school and doing studio project to get my things done.

Now i shall just list down what i should finish by this week.

1) Modelling of the sphinx for SPimps

2) Char Animation Due tmr 9am - bball , jump, walk, expression

3) UV of the Sphinx after modelling

4) Prepares to do illustrations for portfolio

5) Prepares more demoreel to be done ( optional)

That's it i guess.. if i have more perhaps i add more. i think.

off to works and i wish well of my 2 grandmas well. =(

Grandma(s) get well soon!!

Finished my work =)

Just finished editing my story script. Feel a little bit of accomplishment, even after Ms. Eva ranting about my English and stuff and editing my script like an English compositions. Which i normally get like 16 or sometimes luckily 17 out of 30.

Well Since i'm talking about my English, i just want to be so proud of my 'O' Levels grade for English.

I got a nice B3 for English.

Not an A2 or an A1 or even Distinction. Just a B3 makes me like fly around the whole world. Well, i came from a pure chinese speaking or rather a lot of dialect such as TeoChew and Hokkien in it. Well, i'm a total newbie on dialect( i think its wrong spelling, well heck).

Why am i so happy for an B3?

Because i'm ALWAYS a c6,c5 student throughout my life. Even my primary school- Okay i got an band 3 for English.

Well, i always passed until that 'O' levels prelims, i got an nice freaking E8. yay i failed. and really badly. Every single teacher was discussing the issue with me that i maybe retaining just because of a single subject called English.

It's a torture to really cramped good English talking, good grammer, good subject verb agreement, good phrase, no fragments of meaning, no run-ons etc. and the list goes on. I took like a lot of pride pills to reduce my pride and ask my friends for help on English, ask them on how i wrote my Essay, asked my depressing teacher to kindly mark my Extra essays so i can improve Within 2 months.

I worked like triple duple hard, memorized paragraphs by paragraphs of good essays and tried applying, manipulating it to fit the essay and so on.

I hate teachers who looked down on me. There's one teacher, the English head of department, Mr. Duno what. I forgot his name. A teacher who is seem insignificant to me. He said a sentence that i felt like punching him in the face.

" This school every year have some retains. So we do not mind adding this few in that group. "

It's a total kill man. It's like saying, you failed in english equals to failing everything, fail in life, fail in character, fail in everything basically. You should really see how he looked like. The face, the expression, at that moment i felt like shouting, ranting all the vulgarities i ever knew on his face and pushed him on the floor.

If he is that great or so? I was thinking at that point of time. How i wish he is might as well off dead.

I was working hard before he said that and i worked more hard to prove i'm not useless or failure as he looked at me. Fuck you Mr Ass. I remember his face clearly, but not his name. But my skills now still unable to draw what my brain is thinking, or else i will really draw and show how cocky he was at that time.

Well, i really appreciate my English teacher though. Mdm Prema. Who was there teaching patiently to grind some really basics things into our brain. Really, Basics. I didn't really know what the fuck is Subject Verb Agreement, what things are contained in a noun, what exactly is a fragmentation, future tense of every single word, any bombastic words that can describe or rather - Show Not Tell, until i'm sec 2?

Damn i felt like a loser at that time. Hah. Well, my English have improved and it will improve even more as i grow up. Perhaps at a slow pace but definitely be able to articulate well and write well.

And also, draw well. I aim to be a person who can really draw.

Well, i didn't have a lot of things to express lately. Unless you want me to rant more about my work. It kinda hmm a bit too long to write. I shall End here and go for a rest.

Nites Peeps - or rather

Morning Peeps~ =D

I love sleep

Man, i really like sleeping so much. -.-lll

Perhaps it's because that i have been losing a lot of sleep due to dmd. But i always recover them in like weekends. Argh. So many stuff to do in a so little time. Student's life. Why can't they design it in a way that we learn 100X more than we rush things out and learn little? How i wish. Maybe how everyone wish that will happen.

Imagine, 8am to 6pm full day class of your class - it's tiring - But after 6pm, you get home to rest, no homework, no overnights. How is it? Sounds interesting or sounds favorable?

How you wish. Perhaps there is 8am to 6pm classes, but there's like 1 whole stack of homework left for you to do before you go sleep, perhaps no sleep at all.

Is it my time management is so poor or just simply i like to procrastinate.

This is so depressing and disappointing. I should be chiong work when i said, Raymond tommorrow you should start working form 8am to 6pm to finish the work. But i end up sleeping all the way. Damns.

Well i find out, dreaming in a over-sleep mode is intriguing. It goes on so many stage. Every an hour or half-hour, you wake up and sleep again, you will get like 2 stages to go to. To continue your previous dream or start a new one over again depends on what are you thinking at that point of time.

Perhaps, it's a tool to run away from reality. Wanting to create a world that no one can enter except you.

Isn't it like fantastic, you will feel like you are flying in your dream or playing a fighting game or doing something that you will never do in your dream. Even nightmares occurs at the point when you are doing something that you will never do.

I really need to be motivated to do work. To do more and more work and finish the work on time. I seriously do not get motivated to do any maya works.

Maybe I do not have any inspiration on it? Perhaps just keep doing it, you bound to have a lot good ideas pen-en down. But this isnt drawing or thinking of concepts or story. It's like rendering and lighting.

Technical like putting the mood right and have outstanding works that people will view you more.

motivation...........

I want to eat sleep play

Ah~ Life is miserable, suffering, sucks, depressing, sad, sleep-deprived, expressionless, motionless and the list of negative things go on and on.

I have been procrastinating - again. It's like a daily routine for me to procrastinate on a weekend, trying to squeeze precious time away for a good sleep and just day dream.

I need a rest perhaps? Been working hard for 5 days in a week and then on a saturday, the time just go slowly and i start my procrastination once again. Someone push me please or make the school open on weekends so i can go over to school and force myself to work instead of sleeping the whole day and wasting the whole day away. Why others are able to rest and work at the same time and yet i am there sleeping whole day.

Ah. What is done is done. Left is all the sleep-deprived days when the deadlines draws near. Man someone like enlighten me how to do this and that please. I'm kinda sick and tired already. I want to start SP4 and . Year 3 as soon as possible so that i can do my own portfolio, my own stuff my own identity for others to see.

Man. Raymond, you need to be more motivated, more hardworking!!

Lately or rather this morning, i watched a movie called Parika. A film by Satoshi Kon. Well, there's a few other films by him but as a noob as i were, i do not know of these master works.

Parika is a great anime film. It's gory and yet beautiful and smooth at the same time. The animation, oh, how long before i reach that stage.

I'm starting to socialise more and more i guess through facebook, one by one i think. Build up my contacts and then later make close friends. I was hoping to get some really close friends in poly. Cause lately i heard from one my friend saying, one good thing about poly is, there is no such thing of immaturity.

Perhaps there are more or less some dumb and stupid childish people. But perhaps most of them have a aim in their mind and thus, they have a mind unlikely to be childish. Come in to a poly to study, to have fun and to mature to a stage whereby to prepare to work and slog for the rest of life then retire.

Hah~

Week 16 and week 17 is a hell week with rendering and texturing due, Story due, drawing due, and animation due.

Help is seriously needed.

or perhaps

Time is seriously needed.

Ah.... Sadly, that's all i can say for it. Work hard ba~ the same thing i told myself when i'm secondary school. Affected by parents that all lies on me only to achieve a dream that they can never achieve- to be successful in life.

Results is not a factor for me to live, but instead I am the factor for Results to be created.

All this words are just a mask to hide away how i am so particular about results. It's just a happy mask over a sad mask. It's just that simple.

Perhaps i have a thousand masks to choose from but still my most underlying naked face is so obvious.

Again...

~back to work.

Finally it's over - Or not

Man, CoPit Presentation finished. Everything is done, a lot of shit is done and error has pop up and solved. Luckily.

Well, for some reasons, i feel a little guilty. I do not know why. I have been thinking after the whole presentation, that what grade should I deserved at the end of copit? Perhaps not an A. But a B perhaps? I didn't do a lot of heavy work i received. My teamates don't trust me on some work that they think I will not do as a better job than them. Man. How i wish i can be better in painting, drawing and time management.

Ah, this thing had been haunting me for days. Over GRADES again. Why am i so particular on grades? Is it because 10 years of my education, what i fight for and work hard for ends up to be only a grade? What a grade can do to me? Other than misery and depression there's nothing else.

Someone Enlighten Me Please.

Ah~ A lot of 3D 3D work to do and i haven even finished anything. Time management time management!!! I'm going to work 10x hard. I'm working hard now and i will work hard even more.

To improve my drawing skills and painting skills.

I want to be a master in drawing that i can transfer my thoughts to a drawing, instead of reference after reference.

Admiration do not work. Work hard. Even without talent i'm going to do as good as them as good as in an industry expects. I need fame, i need skills, i need more more motivation and passion.

I don't really have much stuff to like think of. Perhaps i need to be more sociable, talk to people more and make some good friends that i will have some help in the future. Stop being so passive.

Ah, i really really need a lot of push from myself, not from others. Dependant on teachers is not going to work well. Individual pushing is the best.

Soon i will have an art blog up. And at that point of time, is for me to socialise with the whole world that how i improve and how i can do things and prove that i can really draw and illustrate and do what an quality that people will say 'wa' on.

I will make sure that will happen to me. That's my aim, my dream.

To be an artist for a game and create cool stuff and receive and sufficient amount for a family to be created.

I need to do more work to put in my portfolio. It's not enough and not good enough.

Ok gtg to do some 3D. Expect me to be flying cause i will not fall easily.